I've Lost My Extra Ears

I could start another entire blog on a little friend named "Barney".  In my divorced life I decided I never wanted another man...I'd just get a dog.  This little fellow came from an abused environment but the lady that sold him to me told me he'd make an excellent watch dog.  I had told her about being deaf and how I couldn't hear my phone or hear someone knocking at my door and she assured me he would be perfect for me.  I had my doubts.  I carried him home with me almost six years ago and within a couple of days he had my heart wrapped around his little paws.  Not only did he bark when someone came to my door, he'd curl up beside me and sleep next to me at night.  He loved bubble baths and sitting in the recliner watching episodes of "Gun Smoke."  He'd crawl up on the float next to me as I laid out in the sun on the lake.  He loved to swim in the water and ride on the bow of the boat.  He'd sit on the stool next to me as I played the piano.

When Jeff and I married, Barney and I moved to the country and this little fellow turned into a cattle dog overnight.  He thought he was tough stuff, romping through the pastures, chasing birds, digging up moles and sleeping under the stars.  Gone were his days of being couped up all alone in a lonely house.  He had new friends, he had a huge playground and he patrolled the perimeters.  Oh, he still slept inside at night when it was too hot or too cold and he still had his bubble baths and visits to the beauty parlor.  But he became bigger than life as he marched right along beside a rough and tough blue heeler cattle dog.  He didn't mind when the other dogs laughed at him for wearing his reindeer antlers at Christmas.  He might have gone country, but he still had class.

This week, I lost my friend.  I lost my extra set of ears.  I lost my buddy, my little love.  I got too close to him as folks that have no children tend to do with their dogs.  I felt like I let him down.  I should have put him inside as we ran to eat at a local restaurant but since he'd just been fed and was playing with the other dogs, we thought sure he'd be okay for an hour.  Wrong.  He went through the pasture, across the highway to visit a neighbor and was killed as he came back home.  I can't even described how I cried.  I felt like I had lost a child.  My heart ached and my chest felt like someone had crushed it.  Jeff wrapped him carefully and buried him next to Bo, our 18 year old blue heeler that died last year. 

And this morning as I let the other dogs out, I called for him to come on and let's go out and play.  When he didn't come, I went back to the bedroom, got down on my hands and knees and looked under the bed for him.  That was his favorite hiding place but he wasn't there.  My heart sank as I realized he'd never be there again and I cried.....again. 

For someone that's never known the unconditional love of a dog, it would be hard for them to understand what happens when four little paws jump up in your lap and curl up beside you to wait on you to finish your coffee, hoping you save just a little bit for them.  Good bye my Barney.  Mama's gonna miss you very much. 

Lord, help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.  Author Unknown